To love and have that love returned - (The Next Side Story Special)
by neveria yan
Summary: Special side story briefly focusing on the moment when Cody received word that Matthew had returned home to officially propose to his long-time beau. After nursing a long time crush on him, Cody was absolutely crushed and needed comfort. Who else could be there for him, other than the friend who had known about his feelings the longest?


Special Side Story~ Not sure if anyone is interested in reading about a pairing that is not from the original cast. However, I've come to love them whilst I wrote the fandom, as they've become such good pals to Rex and Noah, and even played integral parts in helping our boys get together. So here I've decided to shine a little spotlight on them and give them a little well deserved happiness. =3 )

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**To love and have that love returned ~ The Next Side Story Special**

(Special Extra briefly focusing on the moment when Cody received word that Matthew had returned home to officially propose to his long-time beau. After nursing a long time crush on him, Cody was absolutely crushed and needed comfort.

Who else could be there for him, other than the friend who had known about his feelings the longest?)

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Nathan wondered when it was that he realized his feelings.

He'd always been carefree and liked it that way, hating to be tied down. He'd relationships before, but after the hot and giddy early stages where everything is fine and rosy, things usually became troublesome after that. Hence, he preferred to have no strings attached – just keep it fun and simple, was his mantra. It was just easier that way, less complicated.

Such an easy choice to make, a prudent decision really. So he couldn't fathom why many people chose the difficult path of falling into the trap of a relationship, then suffering for it. Not that nothing good came out of it. Many couples got along just well and dandy, but there were just as many who failed, so it perplexed him why they kept trying. Maybe it was because of his disparate attitude, plus the fact that he was naturally very nosy, that he liked to meddle about other people's affairs.

Such as the matter concerning his buddy, Cody, who had yearned for Matthew for years. Nathan watched him for the longest time with twisted emotions and pity at the sorry soap opera that was sadder than Shakespeare's written tragedies.

Until Nathan could no longer stand it, and took it under his wing to give poor Cody a helping hand.

Coaxing Matthew to fool around for a night, with no strings attached, was not so hard, given the barren 'desert' of Providence. There just weren't many ladies in the combat division. And rest times were a luxury. Which made one's roommate, or anyone else bunking on the same floor and the same block, more or less convenient, fuss-free lifelines when one desperately needed a quickie.

Matthew was no exception from this. Plus, Matthew was open-minded and fairly adventurous, enough to let Nathan give him a blow job, thus paving the way for Cody to get access. He did favours like that for several other guys too, always on the pretext of casual fun. Nathan was happy doing things like that – playing Cupid, even if nobody saw it, and at the expanse of earning himself a questionable reputation. Hell, he'd fun out of it as well, so it was a big plus for him. The slander that followed him also worked in his favour – because then no one would be stupid enough to bother him with having a relationship.

Despite his infamous reputation on the wayside, he was remained hugely popular amongst the queer. He had always been attractive to those on the same fence – not that he was being conceited about it, but guys have been hitting on him from middle school the moment he hit puberty and blossomed like a lotus. With chestnut hair matching tanned skin and all the right panes on his face, he appealed to many people. Even more so with his risqué jokes and carefree, fun teasing – he just naturally made people loosen up around him.

In fact, his reputation made him popular even amongst the straight ones. Those who were curious, and those who just wanted some relief, felt it was easier to approach him, because they knew they wouldn't have to deal with any troublesome strings.

Nathan of course, was happy to help them, he always had.

Yet somehow, maybe it was because he did it repeatedly, for so long, for so many times, that the whole notion started to feel like a chore. Slowly, but surely, he felt bored. Or actually, that wasn't really the right word for it – _empty, _was it? Nathan couldn't quite point it out. Whatever it was, there was this restlessness churning within of him, craving for more, like the mere friction of skin against skin wasn't enough, as if satisfying his libido was no longer enough. He didn't believe it would be possible, and was perplexed to admit to himself, that one-night stands no longer held any allure. Doing hanky panky with anyone was just another instance of going through physical motions.

Damning as it was, it was true. He'd simply lost interest.

Conversely, little by little, his interest became drawn to something else. Namely, the soap opera that was Cody pining after Matthew.

He didn't understand Cody's hopeless, one-sided obsession. The blonde was so obvious – doe-like eyes always fixated on Matthew – yet the block head never knew. The poor thing, Nathan always pitied him, which was why he gave him a helping hand at the start. It seemed like a good move at the time, as afterwards, Matthew continued their tryst, at first always with Nathan together, then later, with just Cody alone like an eager pup excited to hog his new toy all to himself.

Unfortunately, the damages gradually showed itself, causing Nathan to regret too late the blunder that he had done. Cody became more wretched. Exchanging so much body talk with Matthew had an adverse impact on the love sick puppy who wanted his heart more than his body.

Yet despite his agony, Cody continued clinging to his one sided love, hiding it desperately, whilst pining after Matthew's broad form with lovelorn eyes. Nathan became increasingly troubled when he saw this, and in the name of friendship, plus guilt over his unwise actions that caused Cody such misery, he tried talking him out of it a several times. Needless to say, Cody remained a fool, committed to someone who was supposedly already committed to someone else.

Nathan couldn't comprehend it. And then the moment he did, was when he realized he had been fool himself.

When did he begin to wish for that ardent gaze to be focused on him instead of Matthew? And why?

It wasn't as if Cody was the type that he normally went for. In terms of looks, with blonde hair and a mid-tan, and rather average features, he wasn't the typical hunk that could make Nathan howl in all eagerness to jump into bed with. Studs like Rex and Noah were more up his alley and rated a full ten out of ten.

But more important than looks, Cody's uncommonly godly loyalty, and foolhardy commitment was the thorn in the thumb that generally would have, and should have frightened Nathan away. He had always avoided those types, dreaded having the likes of them focus their interest on him. Because that mean when the going got tough, or unbearable, he couldn't get away cleanly enough.

Yet, oddly enough, the way his eyes perceived Cody, the way he thought about him, started to change.

It must have started as curious wonder. Like what would it feel like to be watched with such intent, with such heated gaze, day after day, week after week, for years? What was it like to be the center of Cody's attention, to receive such strong, committed feelings? How was it possible to upkeep such loyalty, even when it was unrequited? It was something Nathan was forced to applaud for, even in its stupidity – such passion was admirable.

The only passion and intent Nathan has ever received only stretched till as long as the sex was over, so he never knew. So he was somewhat envious of Matthew for receiving it. And also rather pissed. What a blind idiot! It was such a waste for Cody to lay all his feelings onto the man who could never reciprocate his feelings. Particularly not when the insensitive and clueless clout bragged about his long-time beautiful beau cum fiancée -to-be, every now and then.

Then eventually, when Nathan caught himself feeling bitter every time that the other two exchanged _the look_ he knew was when they were horny and would soon be wanking each other off in secret, Nathan suddenly realized that _he_ wanted to be in Matthew's place.

To feel Cody's intense gaze on him, to be _Cody's_ man. But it wasn't like it was the delusion of jealously. Damn, if Nathan could pick between the two, Matthew was more a hunk by his usual definition. However, there was something about Cody – his thoughtfulness, his seriousness, his mellow yet firm and strong, committed character that drew Nathan in.

And strangely enough, as if his eyes become speckled with fairy dust, the light dust of freckles across Cody's cheek suddenly looked cute. And then he started noticing all the tiny details about Cody –invisible to him before, now suddenly become charming features that made him question his previous tastes and redefine the definition of 'sex appeal'.

The plain looking muffin in the kitchen suddenly looked like the holy grail. So tempting, so bewitching, yet oh-so-precious that Nathan was at loss on what to do with this repressed hunger he carried for him. Man, he was such a sorry sob. So pathetic that he couldn't even admit to himself how much he wanted Cody. He only knew himself to be a mirror of the situation between Cody and Matthew – that is, to pine after the blonde secretly as he pined after someone else.

The situation couldn't be more miserable, or twistedly amusing, with the two of them quietly building castles in the sky, looking outward towards another.

However, the moment Matthew announced his abrupt application for applying several weeks of leave to propose to his long-time girlfriend and finally make arrangements on their wedding and their house, Cody's castle came crashing down.

It was something Nathan had warned him for a long time, and something he himself knew for the longest time. Even so, even if the palace was imaginary, it still fucking hurt, and fucking crushed Cody to the point where the rest of their Delta teammates could not longer pretend to not have known the dalliance with Matthew.

Out of respect for not prying into their private matters, the other boys have always turned a blind eye on it, and never mentioned a thing about it. But once Matthew left the premises and everyone could see Cody malfunctioning, they took Nathan aside after the first week, and unanimously appointed him to 'cheer Cody up'.

There was no protesting to it, because everyone knew the three of them were extremely tight, and if there was anyone who could make Cody feel better, it _just had_ to be him.

The problem was, Nathan honestly didn't know what to do.

In the past, he had helped several people tide over their broken nights and forget their loss by enveloping their bodies with heat, temporarily drowning out their pain. That was what he was good at. Either sex, a hand-job, or beer. But he knew that such crass offerings were cold comfort to a sore and wounded heart, and wouldn't really help Cody. Knowing him, at this point, turning to _empty, fruitless body talk _would be the worst idea.

Now, sitting next to a depressed Cody in the middle of the night on the blonde's bed, cradling his head in little comfort, Nathan hated himself for being so helpless. He felt like kicking himself for being unable to do anything but lend him his shoulder. Not knowing how to help him, or what else to offer, Nathan remained in heavy silence for a long while until words finally found him.

"Get over it Cody, you knew this would happen, sooner or later."

His words came out a little too hard and more curt than he expected, causing him to instantly regret being so straightforward. He wanted to be gentle but hell, he was exhausted seeing this sorry play drag on for over five bloody years.

"I know, but still, I kept wishing," Cody sounded tired, defeated.

"Yea, well, it was a fool's hope – that's what you get for falling for him. Didn't I already tell you before?" Nathan couldn't keep the sarcasm from his tone. It was rather cruel of him, but he hardened himself because that was what Cody really needed to hear.

And never mind that Nathan secretly ached on seeing Cody in such pain and hated hearing himself chide him so brutally.

There was no point sugar coating the reality.

Cody suddenly pulled away from him a bit, wretched eyes meeting his.

Nathan almost caved seeing the wounded puppy, nearly wanted to crush him inside his arms and drown them both in sorry tears.

"Well, you're a fool too, aren't you?" Cody murmured softly, lips curling up on one side into a sad, twisted smile, "Since you've been looking at me all the while I looked him."

Nathan stopped breathing. He stared at Cody with a shocked countenance, words having rocked his very core. It didn't help that Cody stared back steadily with a gaze that threatened to peer right into the windows of his heart.

"Wh-what are you bullshitting about?" Nathan fumbled for words before Cody rushed back and silenced him with a kiss full on the lips.

Nathan blinked in confusion, stunned to see Cody's lids closed against his eyes, lashes dusting his cheeks, nose nestled right next to his. They were so close, _so close_ – _hell_, make that _con-joined!_ Their lips, pressed against each other's only as real as his dreams should be.

When Cody pulled away, Nathan was still tripping in confusion, staring mutely at him, stupefied.

"So? I believe sex should be on the menu for repairing a broken heart, isn't it?"

Nathan barely registered Cody's words before he suddenly found himself pushed back against the bed, with the blonde sitting astride his hips.

"Y-You can't be serious," Nathan whispered hoarsely, head and heart hammering wildly in chaos.

Cody undid his fly and started tugging down his pants, all the while training a watery, heated gaze on him. "Let me show you how serious I am."

In another scenario, Nathan might have shamelessly welcomed the sacrificial lamb, and taken advantage. However, given the current situation, and given how much he cared for Cody, he couldn't go through with it.

"Cody, stop," Nathan said sternly, pulling himself out from under the lighter guy, "You're not thinking straight."

Cody's face crumpled up, brows twisting into an anguished angle.

"What gives? You never give a second thought about fucking anyone."

Nathan sucked in a deep breath. "Yea, but you're not just _anyone_, Cody. I don't want you to get yourself hurt anymore than you are."

The tears finally escaped Cody's eyes, as did a withering laugh that made his shoulders shake wretchedly.

"Is that what you tell yourself, you _fucking coward_? Why don't you just come right out to say you're _afraid_ of loving someone."

Nathan was stunned how this was coming out all of a sudden. And he was incredulous, to say the least. Every fibre of his being shrieked from the jarring accusation, because as much as he wanted to deny it, every word of it was true. And it was terrifying, because Cody was suddenly trying to rip off his skin and rub his wounds raw so that they could both hurt and lick each other's wounds together. Which was the worst course of action they could take at the moment.

Keeping his senses together, Nathan forced himself to keep cool, but even as he spoke, he couldn't keep the strain off his tones.

"Cody, stop it, you're being out of it."

"Well, it's true, right? You like me," Cody insisted with a sort of desperate glint to his eyes, crawling on all fours on the bed, inching towards him, "But you're such a fucking joke because you like me, but then you are _too scared_ to sleep with me."

Given the haunting words Cody had so deliberately thrown, Nathan felt anger rising sharply in his chest.

He pushed him back roughly, with more force than he intended, causing Cody to fall backward and land on his bum on the floor.

"Don't fucking piss me off! I can fuck you if you really want, but then what? What's next?" Nathan barked, head pounding so madly and painfully, that it was hard to keep his cool, "Are we going to become a happy couple in rainbow land? Will that really happen? How long do you think a rebound guy is going to last for you?"

As soon as the words left him, he immediately hated himself for losing his cool and making this about himself.

However, he couldn't help it. After hearing Cody say something that meant he knew about his feelings for him, then suggest a tryst, was just a very _un_-Cody like thing to say. It was too sly, and almost too cruel. It drove him crazy to think Cody would ask such of him without a giving a damn of how he felt.

"Yea, that's exactly what I meant," Cody spat without a beat, glaring up at him from the floor, "I know, I'm horrible. And this is probably the dumbest thing to do. But…" his words trailed off, then picked up in a much softer, broken tone, "I'm just _so tired,_ Nathan. Tired of feeling _lonely_."

Through his furrowed brows, his watery eyes begged, stirring the fires within Nathan. Logic told him that he shouldn't. That it was unwise. That doing this wouldn't heal any of Cody's wounds. It wouldn't even help Cody feel less lonely. The only thing that would happen, was Nathan would get hurt.

Even so, his defences broke. Strength waned under the pressure of Cody's miserable, foolish plea. Like an obsessed sailor clinging to his sunken ship, Nathan went down with him, wallowing in their agony of fruitless loves.

Everything became a blur. Dragging Cody up onto the bed, tearing the clothes off him and devouring every inch of his flesh. As delirious as he was at the chance to embrace Cody, he was more driven by the desire to be the one to vanquish the hurting in his heart. And so he acted with passion and frenzy, heart bleeding with futile hope that their tryst would not come to naught.

In the short, hasty hours of their make-believe fairy tale, Nathan experienced love-making like he never did before. Nothing was ever as how he envisioned in his wet dreams about Cody.

He suddenly lost everything of his skill, of his knowledge and conceit of pleasuring his partners like a proud debonair. With Cody, he was clumsy and impatient like a college boy's first sex, enthusiastic but deeply frightened at every move he made. He became wrought with a myriad of emotions. The act of sex, once so familiar and practised to him, of moving his body against another, suddenly felt new, and foreign, becoming an unexplored territory that sent his loins constantly shaking.

And as for Cody's experience, the question that Nathan had feared asking, answered itself the moment he pushed into his ass and felt the shy resistance, and sweet tightness of his body. Lithe body strung tight like a bow, form trembling within his arms, Cody cried in the purest of gasps, face contorted in a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability.

It was everything that showed proof that he had never been this way with Mathew, or with anyone else for that matter. Nathan knew at once, Cody's never done this – he was the first man to be _inside_ him like this. And that revelation brought a spell of possessive ecstasy that sent him plummeting Cody's core without patience.

Devouring his cries, he showed no mercy, body bursting with adrenaline and excitement as he stared down at the precious visage of Cody tearing, biting his fingers, then his neck, moaning against his jugular vein throughout their errant rutting.

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When morning came, Nathan woke with a start, gripped with anxiety, doubting if what he had done with Cody was a dream. Then he found Cody was already sitting up next to him, hugging his knees to his chest, quietly staring down at him.

Nathan swallowed hard, taking in his naked form, exposed till his hips where the blanket spooled around his tush.

Last night was unfortunately, no dream. Nathan had done something regretful to someone he had vowed to care for, and treat preciously.

He eyed the rampant, abundant bite marks on Cody's skin and grew horrified with himself that he had left so many callous marks. He had never been so out of control with anyone before, so his first instinct was to apologize. However, no words came forth.

Instead, Cody was the one who spoke first, with a hard glint in his eyes. "I'll kill you if you apologize."

Nathan flinched, sucking in a sharp breath in wonderment that Cody guessed at what he was thinking.

Then his gaze softened, and he gently brushed Nathan's hair which splayed on the pillow, playing with the strands idly, looking deep in thought like he was quietly contemplating the events that passed between them the night before.

Nathan marvelled at his calm, as by contrast, he was near panicking, heart racing and face heating up in embarrassment. Noticing that these sensations were new to him, brought him food for thought, because he had never been embarrassed after sex.

And he suddenly couldn't stand the quietness either. Normally, he would prefer to stay silent after doing the nasty, since well, it was awkward to suddenly act all chummy and lovey dovey with your one-night-stands.

Now however, the thoughts inside his head were so loud and rattling that he felt he needed a distraction.

"So uh," he started tentatively, mind grappling for words, then found the question that had bothered him since the start of last night, "how long have you known that I liked you?"

Nathan struggled not to squirm awkwardly as he said it, but couldn't keep his jaws from tightening.

Cody gave a bland sigh and shrugged.

"I don't know, long enough, I guess. A year or so, maybe more, when I noticed you were always watching me."

Nathan swallowed, hard, feeling his face heat up, which was another strange thing happening to him because he hardly ever blushed.

"Well, why didn't you say anything?"

"Should I?" Cody cocked an incredulous eyebrow and gave up on playing with his hair, "I mean, I couldn't even be sure. You have such a funny way of showing it, you know? With the way you continued sleeping around."

Nathan flinched and rubbed the back of his neck, ashamed.

Cody seemed to enjoy his discomfort, stealing a quick smirk before a solemn look fell over him.

"So, what should we do now?"

Nathan flinched again, already expecting those words, and dreading it. Honestly, he was at loss himself, knowing exactly what Cody's question insinuated, but was unsure if this meant he had a chance. His heart and mind went crazy, tripping over each other at the sudden turn of events.

He became shit nervous, knowing this was one of those make or break moments that he hated so much.

"Give me a chance," Nathan bravely asked, then bit his tongue.

Of all the fool hardy thing to do – if he were smart, he should cut his losses while he could and laugh off last night as nothing but a friend's offer of comfort. Yet, looking at Cody's discerning gaze on him, he couldn't feel that it was more right.

Perhaps Cody was really willing to try moving on from Matthew and give him a chance.

However, the blonde didn't reply straightaway. He put a finger to his chin, appearing to think deeply, making Nathan nervous.

Or, he might decide Nathan just wasn't the right guy for him after all and reject him for eternity.

"I will, but only if you can prove yourself," Cody finally answered after an anxious wait.

Nathan released a long shaky breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. An unexplained feeling welled up inside his chest, the type that people said were butterflies, bursting out their cocoons and clamouring to escape the constraints of his ribcage.

"How?" he asked breathlessly, feeling as if he was about to explode into colour and a rainbow would spill out of him.

_Hell!_ Come rain or fire, Nathan would even enter the belly of a monstrous EVO if Cody asked for it.

"One month," Cody lifted a finger, "Lay off sex and lay off touching or poaching anyone for _one month_, then we'll see."

Nathan rushed in for a kiss to seal the deal, eager like a puppy.

Cody however, blocked his lips with his fingers and laughed.

"That includes me," he said, eyes twinkling mischievously in a way that lightened the atmosphere, suddenly giving Nathan room for his usual, playful responses.

"What? No way!" he whined without shame, "I can't live that long without the warmth of a human's touch!"

Cody grinned, refusing to budge.

"It's either that or no deal."

Nathan playfully pouted, acting like he was aghast with the strict restrictions.

In reality, he knew he could do without the empty touches from all other men. After all, he had been craving for something _more_ for the longest time, even without realizing it himself.

And that is to love, and have his love returned.

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**End of chapter**

If you are curious about these boys, you can read more tibits of them in the main story 'The Next'. Just find it under my stories! =)


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